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As fans of proper hardcore porn, we don’t usually get all that excited about page 3 girls and their associated softcore charms. This, however, goes completely out the window when a proper, famous page 3 girl gets more than just her tits out. Bonnie Simon is a deliciously cute nymph with dark eyes, choppy blonde hair… oh, and utterly perfect 34DD breasts.
This porno, being her first, is very well planned to get you as turned on as possible, starting with a solo scene, then progressing logically to girl/girl, then boy/girl, which is a lot more than most glamour girls do in their first pornos. After 2 minutes of filthy talk, and a short introduction to the ’storyline’ (which really doesn’t matter, but never mind), we receive our first mindblowing proper glimse of her pussy, and it just gets better and better from there. Bonnie enhances her character as a dangerous killer by pleasuring herself with the handle of a pickaxe - quite visually unnerving, I must say! She rubs it all over her clit, and slams it in and out, covering it in her creamy juices as she does so. There’s plenty of enticing closeups, which will make you want to lick it clean - you can almost taste her scent, it’s so tantalisingly close.
Two wonderful and quite different lesbian scenes follow, with Karen Wood joining Bonnie in proper down and dirty hardcore girl/girl action. They start off in a club, with Bonnie showing off her bump and grind skills which made her so in demand as a lapdancer in her early days. Her movements are extremely provocative, and she knows how to work a pole, showing off her petite, curvy body from every possible angle. Karen joins her a couple of minutes in, and they hump each other in their bikinis for a bit, before pulling out their breasts and pussies for some real intimacy. The scene is really nicely lit, with enough darkness to genuinely tittilate us with the clubbing atmosphere, but plenty on display with fully lit spreads, too. About 40 people, men and women, stand around watching and dancing, which is a huge thrill and not often seen in a porno, making the scene into a horny public floorshow. Where were we when they were casting for extras, dammit! There’s some memorable positions in which Bonnie is kneeling on her front, arching her arse into the air (with a fantastic view of her pussy) as she eats out her sexy girlfriend and fingers her.
Eventually the two babes, almost naked, duck into the toilets together to continue their antics more privately. Mark Sloan, the stud on the movie’s cover, has been watching, and follows them in, his tongue practically on the floor as he angles for a piece of the action. By the way, take note, if you’ve ever wanted a taste of ‘real lesbians’, Karen’s “Fuck off, she’s mine!” is really quite accurate. Actual, proper lesbians give men pretty short shrift in real life. After Mark has slunk out, tail between his legs, the two babes proceed to fuck each other senseless with fingers and tongues, each girl taking it in turns spreading and propping a leg on the sink to give the other one decent access. The whole scene is filmed from fairly voyeuristic perspectives, as if you’re peering in from the door, so although there’s not so many closeup hardcore shots as the other scenes, it’s still a huge turnon.

Finally comes the scene you’ve been gagging for - Bonnie Simon getting fucked good and proper! The little tease keeps her see-through white fishnet dress on for the first few minutes as she administers a skilful blowjob to his astonishingly big wang. Suddenly, she’s naked and on top of him, humping away with her hips and arse grinding around in tantalizing circles, showing every inch of her lapdancer roots. The action is very fast and hard - you can’t fail to be impressed by this amazingly sexy page 3 babe defying the norm and taking her pleasure from the top, bouncing up and down vigorously, rubbing her clit into him as she slams down onto the cock, getting off on it tremendously. Arse and hips oscillating, tits in his face, tight pussy gripping his cock as it slides up and down the shaft in glorious closeup, the lips wetly clinging to his flesh… you think it can’t get any better until she turns round for a juicy 69. This is where I really started to get off on it - he happily eats her out after his dick’s been fucking her (seriously - some studs won’t!) and while licking and fingerfucking her, she comes loudly, going red and moaning for all she’s worth. As he starts to fuck her again, she grins at the camera happily, and you’ll grin back, being utterly grateful that, unlike most glamour models, she really did want to share all this with us, her viewers. Plenty more positions in store - first sideways, with one leg high in the air, then she ties him to a chair and rides him like a little bitch, both forwards, backwards, and on all fours, hands on the floor, tits bouncing beneath her. The popshot is a great facial, which she holds in her mouth with a smile, before flipping him onto his front and tonguing the spunk into his arse, getting her face in there and rimming him thoroughly
. This is outrageously kinky for a ‘normal’ porno, but it shows that she’s got no prejudices about what acts pornstars perform or not - it turns her on, so she goes ahead and does it, with a smile on her face. That’s what I like in a girl, and that’s why you’ll love this movie - Bonnie Simon really is something very special indeed.