Clusterfuck
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I recently learnt that the term ‘clusterfuck‘ was originally used by US Marines as a slang term for when a situation goes very, very wrong. This was news to me, in my little world of hot porno chicks and gangbangs, a clusterfuck is a situation gone very, very right. I believe that Skeeter Kerkove made Clusterfuck 2 to prove this point, and help me reclaim the word. No longer shall it be related to military fuck ups, it will be used to celebrate the beautiful sight of one hot girl and many, many hard cocks.
This movie starts with the beautiful Aurora Snow, with super sexy red pvc clinging to her every curve, in a petrol station. The camera pans up her endless legs, as she cutely says hello, before suggesting we watch her get filled up. She’s clutching a petrol pump at this point, so the innuendos are coming thick and fast. We’re then treated to Aurora showing off her cute ass, teasing her tight holes and generally being far too provocative. Someone obviously thinks she should pay for being such a naughty little minx as the action quickly jumps to poor Aurora writhing in chains, alone in a room. She’s not alone for long, as Skeeter himself pops in to introduce the action, he promises we’ll get to see Aurora fucked hard in the mouth and pussy, and Aurora giggles happily at the prospect - it’s so nice to see a girl enjoying her work.
So as Skeeter’s promised, the chains come off, the guys come in and Aurora is soon getting pounded with cock filling her mouth and pussy. The action is really raw and un-choreographed looking, everyone gives the impression that they’re there to have a good time and not to look good on camera. The lack of posing and obvious performance just makes this all the hotter, everyones just doing what turns them on and Aurora is pretty much constantly sucking cock and getting fucked, as the studs just can’t wait to take their turn in this horny little miss’s mouth. The blowjobs are rough, wet and nasty, and it’s really very hot, especially as Miss Snow is constantly offering vocal encouragement to the guys filling her mouth with cock. The fucking is constant and builds up to anal and DP, it’s quite a treat to see Aurora deep throating one large dick as two others fill her ass and pussy, as the lucky guy says; she’s one greedy bitch. Personally I’m pretty impressed by her stamina and seemingly insatiable appetite for fucking. This scene is also really worth watching for the variety of bizarre positions that they all come up with - I’ve never seen a standing DP before (looks like a lot of fun!)The blowjobs are rough, wet and nasty, and it’s really very hot, especially as Miss Snow is constantly offering vocal encouragement to the guys filling her mouth with cock. The fucking is constant and builds up to anal and DP, it’s quite a treat to see Aurora deep throating one large dick as two others fill her ass and pussy, as the lucky guy says she’s one greedy bitch. Personally I’m pretty impressed by her stamina and seemingly insatiable appetite for fucking. This scene is also really worth watching for the variety of bizarre positions that they all come up with - I’ve never seen a standing DP before (looks like a lot of fun!)
The scene ends with a great variety of cumshots, covering Aurora’s face and filling her ass in great creampie style. As Aurora lies back, covered in spunk and smiling to herself, Skeeter appears again to pronounce the scene to be one great Kerkove love story! I’m not sure if gang bangs are most people’s idea of romance, but it seemed to work out well for Aurora.
Jessica De e is the next babe at the center of a circle of cocks, she opens her scene with some adorable and dirty broken English “watch me to get stretched and stuffed”, how can you turn down an invitation like that? Jessica is a sexy, curvy blonde, and soon finds herself chained up on a bed. Her perfect round ass is up in the air, inviting a spanking from the horde of horny guys that descend on her. Jessica is amazingly enthusiastic, gobbling up cock and demanding more and harder action from the studs. She appears to have a cock in each hand, plus one in her mouth and at least one more in her ass or pussy at all times in this scene. About halfway through the scene this blonde bombshell takes a excellent double penetration, with two cocks in her pussy at the same time. Several of the guys are keen to have a go at this - who can blame them!? - so they take turns filling her in this way, while Jessica keeps herself busy by sucking cock. It’s quite a turn on to see a girl so throughly full of cock, this must be the stretching and stuffing she was referring to earlier in the scene. This girl really takes a lot of cock as the fucking continues so many hard and fast positions, then, just as you think it can’t get any more depraved, we see the guys cumming all over her asshole, scooping it up ina teaspoon and feeding Jessica with mouthful after mouthful of their spunk, it’s absolutly filthy but strangely hot.
Up The Wahzoo
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Our story revolves around John who arrives at his friend Nick’s house for a date set up by Nick’s wife Shelly (T.J Hart) who’s always trying to pair her husbands friend up with chicks. After briefly discussing her matchmaking efforts John suddenly says to his buddy, ‘I gotta ask you something, have you ever fucked a woman in the ass before?’. Nick nervously answers him informing he’s done it a few times but not lately before John goes on to recall an incident which occurred while he was checking out some apartments for the company he works for…
It’s a ‘every mans dream’ scenario as we see John walking along a corridor when from out of nowhere he is attacked by a huge breasted leggy blonde. It’s Briana! She pushes him to the wall and begins snogging him before giving him a face full of fun as she smothers him with her class A boobs. Shes a fast worker, our Briana, and within a minute shes crouching down to his crotch and greedily deep throating his large cock. After returning the oral favour, licking her pussy as she stands, there’s a few minutes of pussy fucking before Briana asks to be fucked in the ass. Most the scene is taken up with shots of her bent over but eventually she’s on her back receiving a slow anal fuck as she rubs her clit and plays with her pussy. Naturally, she takes a mouthful of cum as the lucky stud shoots his load.
Next up we have Nikkia Denise, pretty in pink and with gorgeous long black hair getting some oral pleasure and being fingered by a guy as she lays back on a sun lounger. Nice. She gets a couple of minutes of this before she delivers a slow blowjob while on her knees. We’re treated to some classic reverse cowgirl fucking as she sits on his cock and starts bouncing before shes bent over doggy style and receiving an anal pounding while fingering her cunt. She remains in this position for most of the scene the only change being when shes on her back rubbing herself and getting ass fucked before putting herself forward for a facial.
The third scene sees John taking a trip to the bathroom but as we all know these washroom visits are never quite that simple and Shelly enters all horny and ready asking to be fucked up the ass. With husband busy in the study with the dinner guests, within no time the blonde stunner is sucking him off. Few slaps of her ass and the oral favour is returned as shes sat up by the sink getting her pussy fingered and being tongue fucked. Theres a few minutes of pussy action before its straight onto the ass as she is bent over the sink being told to spread her ass cheeks open. The running theme of the sex ending with the girls laying down comes into play again before she gets messy with a load of cum fired onto her pubes.
Nick goes off to get more wine when he finds himself in a similar situation to his friend at the hands of Jennifer. After some kissing, she pushes him over and onto the couch before climbing on top of him and giving him a faceful of Briana boob. She gratefully receives some tongue love and has a thumb stuck in her ass then she’s spitting over his cock, wanking it and giving another world class blowjob like only this nasty nympho can. As per, theres deepthroat action from our hungry whore then they fuck on the couch and 10 minutes in he’s into her ass alternating between a few not too complicated positions as she moans with delight. We finish up with a doggy this time as Briana continues to groan and look way too sexy.
The last scene with Dominica Leone is pretty nice the way they have done the foreplay - it doesn’t stink of ‘quick lets get to the sex’ like most porn flicks do although it does get to the point pretty quick, if that makes sense. Theres a couple of minutes of kissing, tit sucking, rubbing crotches through clothes and a particularly horny part where our guy is rubbing his cock over her knickers before it just slips in and he’s taking her from behind as she holds onto the mantlepiece slowly fucking her pussy. She takes a seat on his cock and rides away then about halfway through the scene we get onto the ass fucking. On her back, legs up in the air and with a soaking pussy as she accepts this meaty deposit into her snatch. Theres the standard position’s and she ends up with a load of cum on her bush.
All in all this is pretty standard porno and you’d be forgiven for thinking it was made in the 80’s with the lightning and music (it was released in 2001) but the hot cast more than makes things worthwhile, especially with not one but two early scenes from Briana. 2001 was the year she signed with Vivid so this could well be her last pre-contract movie which is worth seeing for that reason alone. It would have been nice to see the husband and wife combo of Nick and Shelly get it on after their dinner guests had left but instead they just kiss and it’s fade to credits, which was a tad disappointing. I’d call this a ‘nice ass movie’, there’s no hideous close ups of gaping holes like the majority of anal themed movies and bored girls with a big member prodding away at them as they look uncomfortable. This movie is one you could sit down with your partner with if you are thinking of experimenting in the pleasures of bum fun. And after seeing how much these girls love anal, you might just get to ride the dirtpipe yourself.
Skinny Dippin And Cum Dripping
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This charmingly-named film features six nymphettes still in their (late) teens, being fucked by older guys. Some of the girls seem way more experienced than their years but a few seem to be genuinely quite innocent, and we watch them being initiated into the ways of porn moves such as deep throating. Personally I like girls in porn to take the initiative sometimes rather than it all being about the guy doing the fucking, but I guess part of the point of ‘barely legal’ films (this one is in a series called Legal Pink) is the fantasy of having an inexperienced girl let you do whatever you want to her.
First we see 18-year-old Anita, all big green eyes, plump lips (in both places) and angelic smile, in a flowery bikini by the pool. She begins playing with herself, but within two minutes a dick has appeared and gone down her throat, courtesy of Bruno SX. This film wastes no time in getting down to action. Despite her young age (and she looks a few years younger than she actually is) Anita knows how to suck cock, and how to gaze into the camera while doing so. She has her hair in bunches, which Bruno uses to speed up her head action and force her mouth down harder onto his dick. He manhandles her into reverse cowgirl to get the best camera shot of him entering her pink pussy, before turning her over to give her some hard thrusting before coming over her pretty face.
Sarah Sweet is next up - and the most attractive starlet to me - with Senza Raggi. She has naughty knowing blue eyes and platinum braided hair - something of the Gwen Stefani about her. Zensa fingers her vigorously and holds her pussy open to the camera while she bites her lip coquettishly. Next it’s her turn to see to him and she deep-throats enthusiastically before maneuvering between his legs to suck his balls, then move even further back to give his arse a lick. This sends him into a frenzy and he fucks her in every position so fast his cock and balls become a blur in front of the camera.
The other scenes are all roughly along the same lines and themes, although Viona does the only full anal scene in the film, with hairy pony-tailed Leslie Taylor - beauty and the beast. Brown-eyed pigtailed Viona looks the picture of innocence, but soon is having her tits sloppily kissed and her pussy lips bitten. He fingers her up both holes simultaneously, then after getting warmed up in her cunt, thrusts his ramrod-straight dick up her arse. Loren gags and chokes on Bruno’s dick as he gives her a deep-throat masterclass, almost throwing up a few times but persevering. She looks pretty relieved when the fucking starts instead. Shine is a super-slender, gentle-looking beauty, whose tiny pussy is stretched by RAM’s rod.
In the final scene, Stasy and Bruno get busy by the pool, Bruno again making the most of hair in bunches as a way to get a deeper blowjob. He slaps her repeatedly in the face and on the tits, quite hard, and later in the scene slaps her pussy. She looks like she’s handling it, but the whole scene is full of moments which made me think, “if he did that to me, I’d bite his cock”.
At two hours in length, the film was a bit same-y to me, but that’s a plus point if it’s your kind of thing. The girls all have natural bodies and skintones, without implants or obvious surgery, and with soft young curves. There are no tattoos or piercings in sight. After a few years in porn they will no doubt be sporting hard defined muscle, implants and dark tans. If you like them young and sweet, make sure you watch them now.
Fear
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I was taking the movie at face value - gorgeous performers, slightly disturbing scenarios and themes, well executed and original sex acts. But when Hellen told me it’s apparantly based on the movie ‘Hostel’, it started to mean a whole lot more. According to IMDB, Hostel is about a bunch of backpackers who get lured to a hostel in Slovakia with photos of hot, promiscuous girls in gang bangs. When they arrive, they believe they have found the lost paradise of sex on Earth. But they soon find that they have been sold to a gang of fucked up sadists, and their dream becomes their worst nightmare. Imagine that as the setup, and a fuck-tonne of hardcore sex, and there you have ‘Fear’.
Busty beauty Michelle Thorne is lured to the Basement, where she’s captured and secured to a medical chair, her legs spread widely, stripped off, only able to see proceedings from a hole ripped in the bag that’s been taped over her head. Filmed through the bag, we glimpse Renee Richards in biohazard medical type gear, ominously fiddling with instruments. If you like the illusion of erotic nonconsensuality, this is the scene for you. Cute blonde Miche plays the perfect victim, gasping and twitching at all the right moments as Renee wields a terrifying spiked dildo on a rotating powertool on her trembling flesh, following it up with a sharp spiked pinwheel and a giant plug-in vibrator before jamming a huge hollow piece of plastic into her vagina. I know it all sounds horrifying, but none of it is actually that violent - Michelle is clearly turned on, and the whole thing’s very erotic. Renee makes an incredible domme - she’s completely in charge with voice and body language, and when she drags little Michelle onto the floor and rides her face to climax, you’ll wish she’d take you in hand too.
After Suzie Best manages to prove that she’s a total nympho by comstantly demanding harder fucking in a fast, intense scene with a masked stud, we come to our favourite lanky blonde Angel Long. Looking surprisingly innocent in a long red dress and high heels, strapped to a wall, the normally fierce babe does a great job of looking every inch the scared victim. I don’t know who the stud is, but he has one serious foot fetish, as he worships her feet the whole way through, licking and sucking them through the zip in his gimp mask. Halfway through, a blonde in a full face mask and leather top arrives to help fuck Angel, wearing a large strapon and using it proficiently. As if those two cocks aren’t enough, they also use long dildos on poles to fuck her even more, giving a vague, pleasant feeling of abuse while still being obviously pleasurable for naughty slut Angel.
I love the way Dreamlight find the hottest studs to do these beauties justice. The guy fucking Elizabeth Michelle Lawrence is incredibly sexy and buff, with big tattoos and a unusual fetishy gasmask on. Elizabeth lies back in a dental chair in a filthy, grungy medical room, and lets him slowly strip her down to her corset, spread her open and roughly manipulate her holes. This guy also has a fucking machine - and I know from experience that this one is dead powerful and one of the most intense things you’ll ever feel sexually. I call it the Drilldo - it rams back and forth at an adjustable but very fast speed, faster and harder than any man could manage. The stud first uses another, more gentle fucking machine on Elizabeth’s hungry pussy - easing it slowly in for some stunningly erotic closeup filming of the rhythmic penetration - before taking her hard from behind with the Drilldo. She even gets a mini DP with his fingers in her pussy and the toy hammering away at her arse.
The final scene is a sweaty, rough and intense romp with Eastern Euro honey Daria Glower in another slightly scary looking sexual situation. The general feel of the film is a dreamy, cloudy and very dark feel, but with astoundingly crisp and hardcore sex. The music is brilliant - atmospheric and mood building but completely non intrusive. I can’t believe how well produced these are, and how fast Dreamlight are coming up with new and innovative stuff. If you’re into the high budget gloss of the top USA studios, but you want British girls, Dreamlight are the ones to watch.
Raunchy Redheads 2
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Raunchy Redheads 2 stars two of my favorite, and possibly the most popular, redheads in porn - Katja Kassin and Audrey Hollander, alongside Ashley Haze, Smokie Flame, and Gabriella Banks, who are all new names to me.
Opening with Katja Kassin, her rouge locks highlighted with blonde streaks and dressed in tight fishnet. The stud she’s paired with seems really taken aback at how beautiful she is, and clearly can’t wait to get his hands on her. Which, of course, he quickly does, stripping the smiling Katja and going straight for her pert little tits. Katja told us at the beginning of the scene that she loves getting fucked in the ass and her partner teases her asshole, inserting several fingers, before instructing this horny redhead to stuck his cock. He whispers instructions to her the whole time “deeper, harder, spit on it” which makes this red hot oral all the more arousing as Katja follows his every demand.
Taking charge, he lays her down, giving us a tantalising view of her exposed pussy, and fucks her mouth from above, and Katja enthusiastically and effortlessly swallows his big cock, something I always like to see. Judging by the sexy and satisfied sounds Katja makes throughout the fucking, she clearly enjoys his size, even when taking it deep in her ass and I love the way Katja willingly spreads her ass cheeks open, giving us an even better view of the pounding she’s getting. Her gasps and moans of pleasure, and the whispered yeses as she gets closer and closer to climax, make this one very sexy scene from Miss Kassin, more so when she takes a face-covering cumshot with her beautiful eyes wide open and a big smile on her face.
Ashley Haze is up next, promising to get your cock hard and playing with her nipples. Now, her hair is definitely on the more brunette side of red, but when a girl talks dirty as well as she does I can’t really bring myself to complain! After a hot wank in the great outdoors, Ashley heads inside to find cock, cheekily flashing her ass at the camera on the way. As soon as she sets her eyes on a stud, she’s on her knees getting his cock in her mouth with a filthy enthusiasm that cannot be faulted. So starts a high-energy and very vocal fuck session, with the stud (who turns out to be Otto Bauer, I’d recognise that tattoo anywhere!) sliding his cock right in her ass without even bothering with her pussy! He switches between her two holes in an especially dirty fashion and generally fucks the shit out her in his trademark dominant and aggressive style. I’m a big fan of Otto’s due to this fucking style, and combined with the non-stop filth coming from Ashley’s mouth it makes for a dynamic and dirty scene, which is hard and hot without getting violent or degrading. Otto clearly finds it a turn on, as he shoots his load deep in Ashley’s ass, with no time to pull out for the usual facial, making for a nice anal creampie, for those of you who like that sort of thing, and the lasting image of Ashley letting the spunk run from her ass and into her hand. Nice.
Smokie Flame wears a T-shirt saying ‘Hottie’ and this girl-next-door cutie is one for sure. She’s fairly new to porno and sweetly tells us that she likes being watched and showing off. Pulling aside her pure white panties, she reveals a very penetrable pussy and her shyness slips away when she gets her pretty mouth round a cock. This is a nice amateur-newbie style scene, and whilst that’s not really my thing, Smokie is a cute looking girl who fucks well for someone new to the industry.
The style really changes for the next scene, from newbie to seasoned star, from bedroom to super stylish set and I have to say I much prefer this scene. Audrey Hollander looks ultra-glam in heels, fishnet and bright pink latex, her nipples peeping through small holes in her top, and the scene really come alive as she’s fucked in the ass. Playing with her pussy the whole time that she bounces on her studs cock, she practically begs for more and it’s my opinion that Audrey has the most adorable and sexy ‘waiting for cumshot’ face in porn - eyes gazing up at her stud, mouth wide open and tongue ready to receive the load, it would certainly be enough to make me shoot.
Gabriella Banks is in LA having lots of sex, and luckily we get to see some of it as this flame-haired and fun-loving lass shows us what she can do with a big black cock. This is very ‘real’ seeming scene, you feel like you’re watching them fuck in the raw and horny way they would naturally, with very little ‘performance’ for the cameras. There’s a lot of POV shooting in this scene as well, making it even hotter. I was slightly distracted by the stud leaving his shoes and socks on the whole time, but that’s a minor detail that should not stop anyone enjoying this interracial fuck.
This compilation offers good variety, with each scene being quite different in style but all united by the fiery redheads who fuck and suck in every scene. Whatever you are into you’re sure to find it here, in any colour you like - as long as it’s red!
Bark Like A Dog
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And oh god, do these girls make hot little doggies or what? Blonde Cindy Crawford, an absolute stunner, is tied to the wall with a collar and chain, frigging herself furiously before a stud comes along and takes her in hand, totally dominating her. He rams his cock down her throat and handles her roughly, grasping her by the jaw and yanking her hair to get her performing to his liking.
Brunette cutie Melanie Jagger is crouched in a cage on the floor, and when the guy turns his penile attentions to her, Cindy turns completely animalistic, yelping and barking jealously to get at the cock again, which, no matter how much she strains at her leash, is just out of reach. Seriously - I have never seen such uninhibited and sexy wordless acting - it’s really hot. Melanie gives an enthusiastic blowjob through the bars before Cindy gets another turn and is rammed up the arse over the cage while Melanie watches from inside. And just when I thought it couldn’t get any hotter, he chucks a dildo gag on Cindy and uses her face to help DP Melanie. Can we say Hell Yes.
Next is ‘The Box’ - one of the most creative setups I’ve seen in ages. Anna Nova, a slender curly haired blonde, squats inside a clear perspex box, vigorously sucking a double-ender through a hole above her which the camera pans to show us is buried deep in the pussy of Jasmin Lynn. When three men in matching suits and black gloves turn up, they poke their cocks through the holes in the side of the box, and the action hots up as she gets her lips round some real meat. The chains on her collar are stuffed into her wet pussy and wrapped around the base of the cocks as they fuck her through the holes - there’s just oodles of licking and sucking and fucking and chains all mixed in together. Both girls get fucked through and on top of the box with plenty of DP and even a bit of double vaginal too.
After these two wildly creative and amazingly depraved scenes, the theme gets a little less canine in nature - but no less perverted. Leah Stevenson wears a full body wide holed fishnet catsuit which is visually stunning - and two guys fuck her hard and roughly while forcing lipstick onto her face. Beautifully strange and sexy, they smear it onto their cocks and make her suck them - they even paint it onto her arse, systematically circling it around and around until the hole is pink and shiny. Throughout the scene, Leah begs them to “make me pretty”. They spaff into her eye, covering her face in come, her black eyeshadow streaming down her face, false lashes hanging off, before ramming both huge cocks into her mouth at once. “Yeah, now you’re pretty, now you’re pretty, baby”.
Finally, dark haired beauty Autumn Haze is spun around in a sex sling, her head hanging off backwards for the ultimate in face-fucking deepthroat action. Cocks down her gullet, cocks in every hole, the sling swinging this way and that as she’s fucked senseless. Autumn provides the ultimate finale - one guy ejaculates into her arse, at which point the camera zooms in for one of the best creampies I’ve ever seen. She displays extreme anal talent as she squeezes out the spunk from her anus, dripping it out in a glorious white stream with a lovely mini gape. Try this at home, boys and girls, and you’ll soon wonder how they do that without farting - making creampies sexy takes skill, folks!
The lighting, costume, background music, props, scenarios and acting are all first class, and combined with the beautiful, twisted sex concepts, this movie could only have come from the warped mind of genius Jim Powers. It may be pretty much the ultimate movie for female objectification, but you know what? When these porno babes clearly love being in collars and chains, slammed about and used like meat by guys - how can it be wrong when it looks so right?
Spunky Busty Claire
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Escort Sarah McKay, the blonde star of bestselling British amateur movie Spunky Busty Claire, has revealed that ex-Eastenders actor Dean Gaffney “used her as his kinky sex toy”. The actor met her through an adult website on which she was offering her services for £120 an hour - but never even paid her once.
After replying to a mysterious email claiming to be “from the friend of a soap star”, and contacting him on an instant messenger service, sexy Sarah was surprised when her admirer turned out to be the handsome celebrity Dean Gaffney.
“He was talking dirty right from the start. He would talk about how much he loved my breasts and would love to see me strip off. I refused because he wasn’t paying for my services, but that just seemed to encourage him.”
Little Runaway
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Ever wondered what Requiem For A Dream would have been like if it had been a porno? No, nor have I. But I inadvertently found out when I watched new Powersville movie Little Runaway, a full storyline feature starring beautiful Rachel Rotten that had an entertaining look to it, promising naughty sexy punks galore. I got my entertainment alright, and the punk babes were indeed naughty and sexy. No complaints in that department. What left me a little stunned was the non sexual parts of the movie… the dialogue may be funny but some of the events will make your jaw drop.
Rachel plays a beautiful punk teen who runs away from home… because her father is fucking her stepsister. No, wait, it gets worse. She goes to a punk gig… and gets her drink spiked, making her pass out. A punk guy brings her back to his squat, where she meets all his sexy mates who shag each other… until one girl dies from an overdose. They take the dead girl’s body back to her parents… who won’t let them attend the funeral. We find out she was abused by her uncle, who drove her to drugs. Oh, and the authorities are trying to kick them out of their squat, which leads to a big knife and gun fight at the end.
Yeah. Hot.
Oh, the sex? The girls? Sorry, sorry… got distracted. The sex is actually really hot, very fast paced and imaginative, with great punky soundtracks that aren’t intrusive, and brilliant filming and lighting. Each scene’s sex part is only 15 to 20 minutes long, meaning those who watched it more for the plot and the fun won’t have a chance to get bored. (A common complaint with female viewers)
The girls are unanimously gorgeous, especially slim, dark haired covergirl Rachel, who’s a decent actress too, playing convincingly into the rebellious fantasy, hitchhiking, drinking, giggling at boys and looking every inch the very available sexy alternative slut babe.
Small brunette Renee Pornero plays the stepsister, in a good scene which lovers of the older guy/younger girl will appreciate. Next up is slim, natural breasted Sapphire Rae being spitroasted in the squat - wicked lighting and music, great dynamic sex.
Rachel does a scene with big tattooed punk Rob Rotten (yes, that’s her boyfriend - further evidence that beautiful women find ink hot) - and his big, inked body shows off her delicate femininity perfectly, made all the more sexy by the long black laceup boots she’s wearing. She does a lot of anal, which is well filmed in many very visual positions, and still looks like she loves it.
Blonde and pink spiky haired Ashly More gives skilful double head to the two bad guys, turning a potentially bad nonconsensual sex situation into quite a horny sex opportunity. Britney Alexander cheekily fucks her man over the coffin - a very bouncy sex scene with great chemistry and noise.
The scene that’ll really stick in your mind though is the last - Rachel and blue haired Julie Night getting fucked side by side on the stage speakers at an actual punk rock gig, band playing, people dancing, right next to them getting their brains slammed out by the guys. The public aspect is really hot, making all the sex seem even dirtier - Rachel’s boyfriend is eating her out for ages, making eye contact, as she squirms, displaying her privates to the whole crowd. He then bends her up against the wall, back arched, and pulls her hair as he fucks her hard. Gorgeous position and expression on her too. Julie actually fucks her way through a few men, including one in the band - great to see that whole slut thing being properly played out.
Don’t watch it if you hate punk music, but for the rest of us, this is a great fun movie that, despite it’s astoundinly bleak plot elements, will definitely entertain and very much arouse all but the most conservative traditionalists.
Real Girlfriends
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If I had to describe this movie, from new studio Candice Paris, in one sentence, I would say it has the look and feel of your regular dodgy amateur homemade Britporn production, with one crucial difference: the girls are all astonishingly beautiful. Now I know most pornos have pretty attractive specimens of the female species - don’t get me wrong, I’m a red blooded male like the rest of you - and we all like to have a good perv on the girl next door, but this guy’s ‘Real Girlfriends’ (all allegedly his exes) are something else. Stunningly perfect bodies, all under 20 years old, adorable little natural tits, fresh, pretty faces - I couldn’t believe it. Each one of them gets shagged senseless by James himself, filmed on a single camera (not POV) in a home location. The lighting and filming is of a fairly decent level, just enough to give you that naughty, pervy feel, but not the kind of dark, shaky nonsense that has given amateur Britporn a bad name.
The first babe is blonde teen Julia, in her seminal boy/girl scene, and she seems a little nervous but happy to go ahead with it, spread out on his lawn in cute little hotpants and white trainers. Her body is achingly slender and young, her little tits and pink nipples unbearably arousing as he peels off her flimsy top and expertly gets to work on her pussy. The tight little slit is quickly swollen and wet from his oral ministrations, and she moans her pleasure. He seems very much into throughout the movie, always giving them more than they give him, which is a welcome change from the norm. Perhaps this is his trick for getting girls like that to go out with him?
Brunette Gemma Johnson, his ex wife, does a scene with him in lighthearted roleplay as nurse and patient. She seems to enjoy the whole scenario as she provocatively bends over in her tight short dress, stockings and sexy white nurse boots, showing us that she too has a perfect 10 body. When she’s stripped off, James shows off her tasty low hanging inner pussy lips before vigorously fingering her and frigging her clit until she has a loud, shaky orgasm. She takes a good lot of anal in various professional looking positions, and a spunkshot in the face.
Blonde Antonia Deona looks just like the Candice Paris cartoon logo - she’s got big bouncy (silicone) breasts, big blonde bunches, big sexy eyes and a slender, curvy body. She’s simply built to be a pornstar. If she wasn’t, it would be a crime. Especially in her over the top cute outfit composed entirely of skimpy pink and white frills. She puts on a great show with a vibrator before James gets stuck in, wanking herself silly, before he produces a large chocolate bar and fucks her dripping hole with it. Try not to think of the obvious comparisons, as he gets down there to eat it (I almost plucked out my own eyes). Maybe just fast forward to the very hot fast, noisy fuck - he slams into her in doggy and several other splendid positions, and when he stops for a breather, she demands it even harder.
His fiance Lee-Anne, in her first ever porn scene, is the most unusual looking of the girls, a very curly haired total babe, slim with a gorgeous face. She looks almost like a doll, utterly sexy body with hair that just makes you want to grab it and fuck her senseless. Claiming, “I was innocent until I met him”, she starts the sex gently with a nice wank as they both whisper cute sweet nothings to one another, kissing random body parts and gazing into each others’ eyes. It’s certainly the most overtly convincing of all the ‘relationship sex scenes’ we’ve had so far. Apparantly he gives the best fingerfuckings ever, as she’s shaking and glassy eyed from her orgasm, panting how he’s incredible, and often makes her piss (or maybe squirt) from pleasure. Her cute curls (and of course her lovely tits) bounce endearingly as she fucks atop his cock before getting a load down her front.
Crystal Cameron, who isn’t in a relationship with James at the time of the scene, but rather auditioning, is a tall blonde with tight little tits and incredibly sweet small pink nipples, and apparantly she’s never even sucked a cock before but wants to do porn. After a pervily filmed wank, James fucks her, but although she’s beautiful to look at, she’s not massively responsive, although it is obvious it’s pure, unadulterated reality, which makes her orgasm much more intensely sexy to watch than normal ‘porn orgasms’.
There’s two main things that would make me recommend this movie: one is that that whole ‘real couple’ dynamic is rarely seen in porn outside of the actual Real Couples movies, and it’s one I definitely like… James knows how to play these girls’ bodies like the worlds’ most beautiful instruments, and sexually, it shows them off beautifully. The other thing is that the focus is just as much on the girls’ pleasure as the normal porn type acts. Not only is there oodles of luscious pussy licking and stroking, making them writhe and gasp for at least a quarter of each scene, but the camera focuses right in on their faces when they come, showing us how intimate, how tender, how utterly erotic it is to make a girl orgasm. Thoroughly reccomended.
Hug A Hoodie
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If you’re wondering what the hell a “chav” or a “hoodie” are - you probably don’t live in Britain. Portrayed by the media as a generation of working class youngsters with no respect for society, hoodies are often seen loitering on street corners, bored and rebellious, clad in a uniform of hooded tops and baseball caps.
Hooded tops - known as hoodies - have come to be viewed by some as a symbol of social disorder, due to the amount of crime committed by chavs. This led to Conservative leader David Cameron suggesting a campaign to understand the “troubled youngsters”, dubbed ‘Hug A Hoodie’, which inspired Span’s new title. Chav is becoming trendier and the trappings of the ‘underclass’ are now popular in mainstream society, making this the perfect time to feature it in a porn film.
And what a porn film it is! The scenarios are brilliant, inspired by Span’s filthy female mind - rude as fuck, but very, very real. The outfits are superb - taking the sexiest elements of chav fashion and making them a little skimpier, a little naughtier - zip up hooded tops with no bras, cute baseball caps, big gold earrings and short miniskirts. There’s a lot of dialogue at the beginning of each scene, setting up just the right amount of plot - and it’s mostly really well acted and bound to make you smile.
The fantasy of chav babes as sexually available sluts is a common one, and Hug A Hoodie plays on it strongly. These girls like sex, they like men, they like attention, and the way they act, it’s very easy to imagine they’ll like you too. Young blonde Karlie Simon and Carmel chat about older men, and how Carmel “wants to ‘ave a go on em”. When two blokes from the council turn up to measure the house, she’s in like Flynn - the sexual predatory nature of this babe is a huge turnon. After loads of licking, fingering and sucking, with the girls taking charge, they’re each being hammered and spitroasted over the sofa - really looking like they’re loving it.
Beautiful indian Sahara plays a posh lawyer who endearingly allows the tracksuit clad, streetwise young black dude next door to seduce her. This is seriously cute - she’s in control, she “likes bad boys” and she wants a licking. Toying with the strings of his hooded top, unzipping him and groping his firm young body with thorough pleasure, her clear sexual desire is unbearably arousing. Her small slender body looks stunning next to his fit black one, and he’s very skilled at giving her exactly what she wants. She even demands he pass her a vibrator out of the bedside drawer, so she can fuck her pussy as he fucks her arse, and make herself come. With a prolonged, genuine looking orgasm from her that will blow your mind, it’s one fucking hot scene.
Leah Caprice and her blonde friend Antonia Deona have a double fuck with two blokes who can’t believe how lucky they’ve got - the thing that makes this scene hot is the synchronised fucking with the two pairs of blondes sucking and mounting the cocks in the same positions at the same time, and fucking side by side. Antonia actually makes the most stunning chav bird out of the whole film - she’s a fantastic fuck, a total porno wankfantasy.
The scene with Isabel Ice taking on a mouthy gang of hooded yobs is brilliant. They recognise her as a pornstar, ‘give it all that’ and she turns on them and takes them up on it. Of course, half run away but she still scores three fit guys - two white and one black. One or two of these seem to be nervous first timers and don’t make the cumshots, but between them all, there’s still a lot of hard cock for her to suck and ride, and they’re all eager to take their turns. Plenty of naughty girl on boy rimming from this dirty bitch too, cock faceslapping, and more of her usual depraved sexual turnons - it’s clear who was truly directing the sex that day!
Our favourite pervy sket Crystal Lei and her mate Emma B play the sluttiest blondes on the estate, attempting and failing to drag a guy back to their council flat for sex, and settling for experimentally “Lezzing It Up” (genius scene title!) instead. Before the sex even begins, Crystal’s demonstrated her incredible deepthroating skills on a dildo and given an instructive talk on fisting. Now I’d have loved to see this scene in all it’s uncut glory - there was clearly foot in pussy action going on, and Crystal’s not a force to be trifled with - she likes it intense and nasty. The bits we do see, though, are splendidly chav themed and very sexy, with some especially well filmed tonguefucking and great pussy penetration with a wine bottle for Crystal.
One last thing - you can’t afford to miss ‘The Making Of” bonus scene - it’s one of the most informative and well made British behind the scenes features we’ve seen… watch and learn, laugh and gasp as you see some of the things that really happen on a porn shoot!
Maximum Perversion
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Don’t let the mis-title put you off though. While this might not give the more twisted among you the pervy kicks you’re looking for, for the rest of us it’s good straightforward hardcore.
Each scene is loosely themed and the guys get into the swing of this, while the girls have a slightly bemused “can’t he just get on with fucking me?” look now and then. Particularly in ‘Handcuffs’ (which actually features a blindfold and a chain rather than cuffs), Tanya seems a bit dazed and confused by Jay Jay’s more-than-half-decent portrayal of a bloke called home by his missus in the middle of the day for some unexpected kinky nookie. He tells her how they should do this more often, how horny she makes him and all sorts, even at one point saying “I love you”. Meanwhile she’s looking rather nonplussed and not im